SQL Server News & Information tsql, performance tuning, industry trends, & bad jokes
tsql, performance tuning, industry trends, & bad jokes
This site is maintained by Jason Massie. He has 10 years experience as a DBA and has specialized in performance tuning for the last five. He was recognized by Microsoft as a SQL Server MVP. Jason has spoken at the Professional Association of SQL Server Conference, the North Texas SQL Server Users Group, SQL Connections and TechED. He has worked at Terremark (formerly Data Return) for nearly a decade.
You can contact him at jason@statisticsio.com or 469.569.5965
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This post was inspired by the SQL Quiz going around that that Chris started, while humorous, can help us learn from each others mistakes.
Over the years, I have gone from a mental project plan to notepad to excel to MS project. My success % has increased and fire fights have decreased for major changes. I recommend it.
A Mental(ly Disturbed) Note
The comic template was adapted from OfficeOFFline.
Once again, I was struggling for a Varchar(MAX) topic and twitter came through. This comic is based on these two tweets.
Update: Anarchy has erupted on twitter. Brent blogged it here.
BrentO If yo momma was a table, she'd be a heap. #SQLputdownsFri, Oct 31 12:31:24 from mobile web
jeffrush @BrentO If she was a datatype, she'd be a BLOBFri, Oct 31 12:37:41 from OutTwit
Yo Mamma is a SQL Server
This template is based on Office OFFline.
This post was inspired by a twitter conversation between @SQLCraftman and @Joewebb.
joewebb @SQLCraftsman TVF's don't kill servers, developers with TVFs kill servers. :) Fri, Oct 17 13:42:42 from twhirl
SQLCraftsman Still recoding bad T-SQL. Table-Valued Functions are evil.Fri, Oct 17 13:16:43 from web
For further information, I suggest reading my favorite whitepaper especially the best practices section.
I am out of town. Look for it Monday or before. Until then I give you:
But hey if it works, then Darwinism is kinky… Maybe this is how cowboy hats evolved.
Was struggling for some comic fodder today. Like for at least 7 minutes. Then I remembered a blog post that BrentO wrote yesterday and blam. Humor(or lack of) aside, test your fracking backups.
This template was adapted from Office OFFline.
SQLOS uses a cooperative scheduler. They actually wrote it from the ground up because it performs better than the Windows preemptive scheduler. KenH(R.I.P.) describes it way better than I can here. It was written for SQL 2000 but is still pretty applicable.
Less Signal Wait. More CPU lovin’
Maybe I will come up with something funny next week. Happy Friday!
This comic was adapted from Office OFFline.