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10 Reasons to Upgrade to SQL Server 2008

Posted by Jason on Monday, November 17, 2008 to Humor
2324 Views | 10 Comments | Article Rating


  1. Filtered indexes and data compression saves one acre of rain forest per TB of data.


  2. SQL Server was not tested on animals. Only prisoners in exchange for early release.


  3. Natural selection occurs when DBA’s cannot comprehend spatial data.


  4. SSIS has has broken the speed of light busting the E=MC² myth


  5. AdventureWorks will IPO in 2009


  6. Control+Z for all changes will be implemented in SP1.


  7. Policy Based Management can be configured to slapaho when in violation.


  8. MERGE sounds less ghey than upsert.


  9. The government will bail out SQL Server 2008 if it fails especially if it is corrupt.


  10. Microsoft kills one kitten per socket everyday you continue to run SQL Server 2000.

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COMMENTS:

Reason #11: SQL Server 7 makes baby Jesus cry.

posted @ Monday, November 17, 2008 12:40 AM by Brent Ozar


These are hilarious.

posted @ Monday, November 17, 2008 1:40 AM by Jason Strate


posted @ Monday, November 17, 2008 1:43 AM by Strate SQL


posted @ Monday, November 17, 2008 1:43 AM by Strate SQL


posted @ Monday, November 17, 2008 8:39 AM by Strate SQL


Jason Massie just made it to the Hall of Fame!

posted @ Monday, November 17, 2008 3:37 PM by MarlonRibunal


Hi Jason,
I see that you have forgotten the [B]Change Data Capture[/B] :)

What about CDC ?
[URL]http://www.kodyaz.com/articles/change-data-capture.aspx[/URL]

posted @ Tuesday, November 18, 2008 3:05 AM by Eralper


11. The date data type is like datetime without the garbage

posted @ Tuesday, November 18, 2008 12:05 PM by SQLDenis


posted @ Wednesday, November 19, 2008 10:07 AM by Denis Gobo


Comments from the following blog entry: http://www.jasonstrate.com/?p=135

posted @ Monday, November 23, 2009 7:44 PM


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