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This site is maintained by Jason Massie. He has 10 years experience as a DBA and has specialized in performance tuning for the last five. He was recognized by Microsoft as a SQL Server MVP. Jason has spoken at the Professional Association of SQL Server Conference, the North Texas SQL Server Users Group, SQL Connections and TechED. He has worked at Terremark (formerly Data Return) for nearly a decade.

You can contact him at jason@statisticsio.com or 469.569.5965

Jason has the following certifications:
  • Microsoft Certified IT Professional Database Administrator (early adopter)
  • Microsoft Certified IT Professional Database Developer
  • MCDBA (7.0 and 2000)
  • MCSE
  • MCSD
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Capt. Varchar(MAX) and the Pagelatch Posse Vol. 13

Posted by Jason on Friday, October 31, 2008 to Humor, Captain Varchar(MAX)
463 Views | 8 Comments | Article Rating

Once again, I was struggling for a Varchar(MAX) topic and twitter came through. This comic is based on these two tweets.

Update: Anarchy has erupted on twitter. Brent blogged it here.

 

clip_image001

BrentO If yo momma was a table, she'd be a heap. #SQLputdowns
Fri, Oct 31 12:31:24 from mobile web

clip_image002[6]

jeffrush @BrentO If she was a datatype, she'd be a BLOB
Fri, Oct 31 12:37:41 from OutTwit

 

Yo Mamma is a SQL Server

yomamma

This template is based on Office OFFline.

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Permalink     8 Comments  

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COMMENTS:

That so rocks. I have a ton more Yo Momma jokes in my head for SQL Server, but now I'm feeling guilty because of that damn FollowCost site!

posted @ Friday, October 31, 2008 1:29 PM by Brent Ozar


lol, screw it. Go nuclear. Just sign up for qwitter and you will know when the line was crossed.

posted @ Friday, October 31, 2008 1:32 PM by JasonMassie


Yo mama so bald, she look like Joe Celko!

posted @ Friday, October 31, 2008 3:00 PM by Anon


Yo momma so old, she got a 16-bit front side bus.

or

Yo momma so dumb, she was late and ran to catch the front side bus.

or

Yo momma so dumb, she tried to query a DMV when her drivers license expired.

posted @ Friday, October 31, 2008 3:07 PM by Adam Machanic


Yo momma so dumb, she tried to eat server roles with her salad.

Yo momma so dumb, she tried to eat dinner at the temp table.

posted @ Friday, October 31, 2008 3:11 PM by Adam Machanic


Ahh, I can't stop!

Yo momma so dumb, she tried to buy stocks from Service Broker!

posted @ Friday, October 31, 2008 3:12 PM by Adam Machanic


OK, one more really bad one, then I'm done:

Yo momma fat like a procedure cache full of nonparameterized queries.

posted @ Friday, October 31, 2008 3:18 PM by Adam Machanic


Sorry, one more ...

Yo momma so old and so dumb, she think 640k should be enough for anyone!

posted @ Friday, October 31, 2008 3:23 PM by Adam Machanic


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